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Wednesday, February 01, 2006
State of the Union? Would Be “Strong,” But I’m Not Drunk Enough
I really should be writing about the State of the Union someplace else, but I’m not really going to write about it at all. Other than to let you know that when Michelle got home from band practice and found me watching the address, she said, “I’m surprised you’re not taking notes.” To which I replied, “It’s easier for me to drink when I’m not taking notes.”

You know what was reaffirmed during the speech? That I do have a little crush on Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu.


Bush touched on the need to steer the economy away from our “addiction to oil.” Which, y’know, is great. Did you hear that shit about Exxon-Mobil a few days ago? How they netted over $36 billion in profit last year, the most ever in U.S. history? Beating the old record, which was set by . . . Exxon-Mobil in 2004?

This got me thinking about those backward-ass chain emails, where we’re urged to not buy gasoline for a day to stick it to the oil companies. Oh, okay. Well . . . what about tomorrow?

I say fuck that. How about boycotting just one oil company? Every day. Let’s say . . . Exxon-Mobil. Do not buy gas from Exxon and/or Mobil stations (unless you live in a town with one traffic light and one gas station, which begs the question: How are you reading this?). Dump your stock in their company. Dump 401(k) funds that carry Exxon-Mobil stock. I’m serious. I already don’t buy gas from one chain in town (because they suck for other reasons, not really political). I have other options, and I’m going to exercise those.

Spread the word: We know we have to buy gas, but we don’t have to buy it from Exxon-Mobil. (That’s actually several words. Spread ‘em anyway, fuckers.)


On the non-consumer-driven-Totalitarianism front, Michelle and her band leave for their tour tomorrow. You should check out the parade route and go see them if they’re coming to (or near) your town. I’ll be playing the part of “single father” for a week. But should the Steelers win the Super Bowl, that’ll carry me until Michelle gets back. Plus, I get paid Friday, so I should be able to stock up on alcohol to keep me afloat float in. I’m getting a little nervous that the rescued Crown might disappear. Bring it to me, Mr. GH!