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Thursday, June 16, 2005
 
Neighbors?
I think I’ve hinted here before that Michelle and I are somewhat antisocial and/or mildly misanthropic. We’ve lived for four and a half years in the same house and we don’t know our neighbors. We’ve never even met them. Not really.

On one side, we have the African-American “family;” I really don’t know what the exact configuration is over there. I’ve seen the same guy (I think) mowing the lawn several times (with an electric lawnmower). And the same woman getting into her police car. (Yes, there is a police car parked next door 75% of the time, which I’m convinced cuts down on our home-invasion potential.) Anyway, I’ve said (or waved) hellos to them a few times, hardly ever even exchanging banal pleasantries (like, “Wow, hot day,” or “Looks like rain”). They have an annoying little dog that yips at me whenever I go into the back yard with Mia (prompting the usual, “What’s that noise?” to be followed by, “It’s that shit-assy little dog from next door.”). Do they have kids? I’ve seen one or two on occasion, but it’s usually when there are several cars in the driveway . . . maybe a post-church get-together.

On the other side, there’s a white couple. Who have a kid. Maybe. Our yards are separated by tall, bushy trees (on our property and I’m too lazy to trim), so we don’t see them a lot. Just when we’re pulling out of our driveway every once in a while or driving by their house. The husband sits on the front porch and smokes. We don’t wave. Oh, and they have a couple pit bull-ish dogs in their back yard.

Now, the neighbor across the street . . . that’s the interesting one. Actually, he’s not that interesting. See, he used to have a wife. I’d see her out working in the yard, or jogging down our road. And then she disappeared. Her Trooper was never in the driveway. Sure, she’d pop up every once in a while, usually leaving within a few minutes of arriving . . . sometimes when he wasn’t there. His little red Nissan is there all the time. On weekends, there’s a maroon Taurus, but I’ve never seen who drives that. My money’s on casual-sex-partner-reluctantly-transformed-to-girlfriend. I need to make up a story "about" them and then use that as the basis for a tawdry book.


In other news, Mia is 80% potty-trained. She hasn’t had an “accident” at daycare for weeks (even during naps). She still has an occasional accident with us on the weekends and she still wears a pull-up to bed. Sheez. Next thing y’know, she’ll be slamming beers in front of us and telling us to “Fuck off.” Can’t wait.