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Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Florgia (or Would it be “Fleorgia?”)
The Rebel flags (Confederate battle flags) have always bothered me. I often go days without seeing one, and then I’ll see five within 10 minutes. Most often on cars. Yesterday, I saw a truck that had no less than three on it, along with a very large sign (not a sticker) that read, “Take a Rag Head Deer Hunting.” This is where I live and breathe, ya’ll. Y’hear?

I’m a really big proponent of creating a new state comprised of the Panhandle of Florida (all the way to the coast at Jacksonville, and south to . . . I dunno, how about we make Gainesville a border city?) and rural Georgia south of Macon (and west of Savannah). That would be Florgia. The remainder of Florida would be renamed something like Orangeland or South Earlybird or East Disneyonia. And the remainder of Georgia would be renamed West Carolina or, simply, Greater Atlanta.

I like what this guy proposed but, really, Atlanta has little in common with southern / rural Georgia, which seems to comprise a lot of the newscast here in Tallahassee--which could easily be the capital of Florgia. I mean, that would be expected. (Naturally, Orlando would be the capital of Orangeland or East Disneyonia, but Boca Raton might have to the be capital if it’s South Earlybird.)


In other news, our heater broke again (hello, cold front), my mom has another godforsaken CT scan this afternoon (hello, percocet + oxycontin + industrial-strength muscle relaxers = slurring, right?), and I’m purging some of my archives (just the stuff that makes me sound bad and/or dangerously stupid).