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Tuesday, December 07, 2004
What’s Best
This is a Public Service Announcement for those of you (perhaps) youngsters who may be thinking about / planning to have kids. And the subset of those people who have relatively normal relationships with their parents. And the subset of those people who are basically normal themselves.

Y’know how your parents often tell you that they “want what’s best for you?” Or how they “only have your best interest in mind (or at heart)?” Well, when you have a child, that all changes.

Now, this might seem to be logical (the world revolving around your child), but it’s shocking at first. Suddenly, your parents aren’t that interested in what you’ve got going on. Suddenly, your house is a crack den (or worse). Suddenly, your car is Unsafe at Any Speed. Your parents won’t always ask how you’re doing, but rather how the baby is doing. Your parents no longer shower you with unexpected gifts, but rather shower your child with gifts.

Now, this PSA is not borne entirely out of selfishness. I just want you breeders-to-be to know that, after you have a child, your life is no longer entirely yours. And don’t expect any extra reward(s) to be bestowed upon you. If having a child is not its own reward, perhaps you should get a hamster.

End transmission.