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Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Vote or Die
I do what Sean “P. Diddy” Combs tells me to do.

My voting experience started out normal enough until I was confronted by some Republican poll-watcher who asked me who “a floppy-haired fuck” like me would vote for, so I looked him in the eyes (to distract him) while I kicked straight into his kneecap and sent him down like a sack of potatoes. I don’t remember when the gunshots started, or the fire. I’d actually forgotten that I had my voter’s registration card, which would have cut my time (10 minutes) in half. Yes, I had my sample ballot all filled out as a guide. And forget the Bush-approved touch-screen crap with no paper trail. Opti-scan is the way to go.

There were more people outside with signs for Kerry and people with signs supporting/rejecting various state amendments than there were people voting. No line, no waiting. I noticed when I signed the registration book that at least a quarter of the people in my precinct had already voted (absentee).

For the record, I did vote for a token Republican*.

* She is running for state Senate, and she often breaks with her party. So much so that she’s been stripped of committee seats and chairs. And she sent a load of manure to a powerful Capitol lobbyist. Really, how can you vote against that?