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Monday, August 16, 2004
(Heavily Footnoted) Stats That Shape a Family Vacation (It’s Great to be Back! Okay, Not Really.)

Days Spent “on Vacation”: 9
Number of Stops: 3
Hours Between Home and First Stop (Rural NH): about 8*
Hours Between the Last Stop (Albany, NY) and Home: about 4.5**
Number of Times Mia Napped: 0
Number of Times Mia Threw Up: 1***
Number of Times Mia Fell Down Some Stairs: 1
Number of Times Mia (and, by Extension, Her Parents) Watched a Baby Einstein Video: 20
Cups of Juice for Mia: 22
Alcoholic Drinks for Scott: 18.5
Alcoholic Drinks for Michelle: 13.5
Number of Photos Taken: 1
Number of Political Debates with Conservative Family Member(s): 1#
Percentage of Words that Came Out of Mia’s Mouth that Were Either “No!” or “I Wungo” (I Want to Go): I’d say about 52.3%
Cribbage Games## Won: 2
Cribbage Games Lost: 2
Number of Hours Spent on the Road (Round Trip) to New York City: about 5.5
Number of Hours Spent in New York City: about 6
Number of ‘Bloggers I Thought We Might Spontaneously Run Into While in New York City: 3###
Number of Items Purchased During New York City Shopping Adventure: 1 (a belt for Michelle)
Total Number of Subway/Bus Rides Purchased (Four People; at $2 Each): 8, I think
Number of Tropical Disturbances that Passed Within 200 Miles of Our House and We Weren’t Even Here to See Them: 2*#

* connecting flight south of here (to go north), followed by a “limo” ride from Logan airport to someplace you’ve never been

** due to a more-direct flight plan and the shortest layover I can recall in Atlanta (luckily we were only going from Gate B-5 to Gate B-13 . . . we lucked out on that one)

*** quite likely this was related to car-sickness, with my aunt driving erratically over the winding roads of rural New Hampshire/Vermont

# My grandmother was trying to keep my grandfather from getting too excited, but she finally dropped this bomb: “When Clinton was president, and he did all of those things . . . I have never been more ashamed to be an American.”

## against my grandparents who play at least one game a day (as they have for decades), and who taught me the game

### didn’t see any Asian female attorney-joggers, although we could’ve seen lots of spectacularly racked Oklahoma transplants hiding flasks under their skirts or drunken, foul-mouthed, toilet-centric British woman . . . maybe we just didn’t recognize them

*# Thanks for the concern, Styro.