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Wednesday, June 23, 2004
“It’s a Non-Issue.”
Of all the catch-phrases that I’m partial to utter, this one’s gotta be near the top of the list. In case you’re wondering about its usage / context:

Boss: “You’ve done all the reports for that site?”
Scott: “Yeah, so I guess that means I need to burn the CD, huh?”
Boss: “If you have the time.”
Scott: “Well, the final report hasn’t been approved yet so, at this point, it’s a non-issue.”

Some other faves include:

“It looks like the world’s about to end.” (strangely not a reference to Bush’s possible re-election; rather, this is used when the daytime sky turns very dark before a storm)

“Oh, come the fuck on!” (I think this one is obvious in its frustration; several variations of this one are used during driving, along with a plethora of other expletives)

“I’m going back to the boudoir.” (going to bed to read or watch T.V., or an invitation to go talk; otherwise it’s, “I’m going to bed.”)

“I need to have a sit-down.” (bathroom)

“The Ghetto” (not a real ghetto; used to describe any of the Union 76 / Circle K’s around Tallahassee that don’t print out a fucking receipt when you pay at the pump; most often, it’s, “Oh, make sure you go to Gate and not the [fucking] Ghetto. I want a receipt.”)

“New Thief” (New Leaf Market, the crunchy/hippie grocery / co-op where we buy our soy jerky, thai noodle packets, and frozen ethnic dinners; very pricey)

“Club Publix” (widely used name for the Publix grocery store that’s strategically placed in the area where many FSU students live off-campus; the average age of the clientele is about 21, female, and scantily clad*)

* I don’t want to exaggerate here. I mean, it’s not like the store is chock-full of girls in bikinis. It’s pretty evenly split between attractive college-age girls and the men that shop there to see them. And then there’s me . . . stopping by every couple weeks because it’s convenient, being a well-stocked (heh-heh) grocery store that’s on my way home from band practice. No, really . . . I don't go there to gawk. (And that's not because I'm gay.)