web tracker


Monday, May 03, 2004
 
How They Make Us Me Watch
When it comes to questionable (okay, bad) television, I believe in monitoring rather than active cleanup.

Oh, God, too much work. Let me start over.

I’m weak, okay? I will sit and watch anything if I’m hooked in the first 10 or 15 seconds. Now, I’d seen the promos for NBC’s spectacular mini-series event, 10.5. Y’know, the Space Needle collapsing, the Earth cracking open, buildings on fire, the Golden Gate Bridge falling (along with several cars) into San Francisco Bay. But I knew better, right? I mean, made-for-T.V. movies are, like, the worst programming that the media moguls have to offer. Seriously, Sean Hannity interviewing Rush Limbaugh would be more entertaining.

Michelle was at band practice last night, and I put Mia to bed at 8 o’clock. I was already hooked on a Dateline thing about a guy with DID who assaulted his longtime therapist and blames it on one of his alters. Anyway, that was two hours of my life, but I was feeding Mia and eating and then doing stuff around the house during the commercial breaks. So, I figured I’d let the lack of momentum carry over to the 9 o’clock hour, which was the kickoff of 10.5.

What followed was one of the most incomprehensible, improbable, badly written, plot-hole-ridden, and generally foul piles of poop ever committed to film. Are you fucking kidding me? From the first sequence of Seattle being ravaged by an earthquake (following a brave cyclist through the city as the quake is happening, only to see him ride, from the base of the falling Space Needle, directly in the direction it’s falling), it only got worse. Really, I cannot believe the increasingly horrible depths that it could sink.

Who watches this shit? (Me, apparently.) But after the first hour, Michelle (back from practice) asked, “Why aren’t you watching Deadwood?” And I had no answer for that one. Certainly none that would make sense. So I switched over to HBO, and I instantly felt much better.