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Wednesday, January 28, 2004
How America’s Undying Love for Winners and Neatly Tied-Together Stories Causes Me to Fill a Miscellaneous Post with the Appropriate Amount of Segues
Yesterday was a flurry of activity. When I wasn’t busy trying to keep “admin” time from showing up on my timesheet, I was working the phones and making trips to the house to help solve the water-heater mystery. Yes, our water heater died (apparently) a quick, cold death sometime overnight Monday. I had a fairly warm shower yesterday morning, but Michelle said her bath was somewhat less than warm. Further testing revealed no hints of warmth from the faucets marked with an “H.”

First up was Sears. Bottom line: If you want a drill, or a power sander, or a flannel shirt, by all means go to Sears and buy it. If you want carpeting, or car repair, or a major appliance . . . for fuck’s sake, go someplace else. I went to Lowe’s and paid (with tax) $200 less for the water heater with installation than Sears wanted for about the same thing (before tax). Those fuckers. I’m glad we’ve paid off our account to them.

With any luck, Michelle is at home right about now while the plumber(s) install our new water heater.


I think I’ve expressed my distaste for bandwagonning and fair-weather fans. Now, I haven’t seen (I don’t think) any Carolina Panther fans around town. So, it’ll be interesting to see that, if they win (and I, as a result, lose $10) how many Panther fans suddenly appear. Because America loves a winner. And I hate that about America.


Speaking of America’s love for winners, I’m starting to feel more positive about the election this Fall. No, no, not because of John Kerry’s continued dominance. See, let’s say Kerry wins the nomination, gets someone strong on his ticket, and turns out to be a more energetic and appealing candidate. Now, my theory is that the Republicans really went overboard on “getting out the vote” in 2000 (to exorcise the Clinton legacy from the White House), whereas the Democrats didn’t do as much (because Al Gore barely registered on the enthusiasm-o-meter, and that was when he made out with Tipper at the Convention). So, if the Democrats can “get out the vote” to exorcise Bush from the White House (which most of them want to do at all costs), and the Republicans are more sedate / disenchanted (because their figurehead has the leadership capabilities of an oft-ridden blowup doll), we might just have a chance.

And, I’d suspect, the happy State of Florida will be a battleground once again.


Speaking of battlegrounds, if one more motherfucker knocks on my door during my lunch break, there’s gonna be a shivving.