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Wednesday, December 10, 2003
I Know How to Pick ‘Em
In school, we were taught that, when writing, you should always keep in mind who your audience is. And now that I’m out of school and still working in / practicing the joys of the English language, “Know Your Audience” has become the Golden Rule™.

Of course, I don’t always adhere to that rule, as will be demonstrated by the following post. Yes, kids, it’s more sports talk.

If you remember, just before the college-football season started, I made ten predictions about the upcoming season. Five of them centered on FSU (my alma mater) and the other five were more general. Here are the predictions, with commentary on how they played out:

-- “FSU will lose at least two games this season, but no more than four.”
Well, FSU is currently 10-2, so even if they lose their bowl game, that’s only three losses. Score one for me.

-- “Most / all of FSU's losses will be indirectly (and accurately) blamed on Jeff Bowden.”
This is a tough one. As awful as Jeff Bowden is as an offensive coordinator, we somehow managed to eke out quite a successful season. He has us firmly back in the we’re-the-Seminoles-and-we-can-be-unimaginative-and-still-beat-you realm for sure, but at least we executed better this season. Anyway, the loss to Miami could be blamed on Chris Rix . . . and/or the rain. The loss to Clemson? Could it be some intra-Bowden conspiracy? I guess, to be fair, I missed this one. A little bit. The jury’s still out on ol’ Jeffy.

-- “FSU will beat either Miami or Notre Dame, but not both.”
We lost to Miami and beat (the Christ out of) Notre Dame. Technically, we could beat Miami in the Orange Bowl, and I guess then I’d be wrong. But let’s say that I had no idea that the BCS would end up putting us and Miami in a bowl game opposite each other. I should’ve known, I suppose.

-- “FSU will not win the ACC and, thus, will not go to a New Year's Day bowl.”
Guess I was wrong here, huh? Geez.

-- “FSU will finish the season ranked just inside the Top 20 (maybe in the 17-to-19 range).”
I think we’re around #10 right now. If we lost to Miami (#9), we’d likely only drop a few spots. So, in the worst-case scenario, I guess I’d be correct with this prediction, but I’d venture that we’ll end up better off than that, even with a loss.

-- “Neither Miami nor Ohio State will be in the National Championship game.”

-- “Oklahoma and/or Notre Dame will be in there (the latter most likely due to some stupid BCS loophole).”
Couldn’t have been more wrong about those silly Catholic kids, but Oklahoma saved me on this one . . . but only technically.

-- “Notre Dame will only lose one game this season; if they lose to FSU, it’ll be two games. (And I will continue to hate them, although I will respect them. Unless they play for the National Championship, and then I’ll just hate them.)”
Wow. Dead fuckin’ wrong.

-- “Kansas State players will be at home on New Year's Day, fucking their large, corn-fed girlfriends.”
So, they’ll be in Arizona instead, fucking God-knows-what. I spent the whole season making fun of them, chastising them as pretenders for playing, essentially, nobody. And then they go and beat Oklahoma to win the Big 12. A small part of me is elated that we didn’t have to go to Tempe and get our asses whipped by the very team that I’ve been disrespecting all season long.

-- “People will continue to whine that there isn’t a playoff system.”
This season has become Exhibit A for why the BCS doesn’t work. And, until now, I’ve been defending it to all my playoff-hungry friends.

In summary, I was correct on six out of ten. Not too bad for a casual fan shooting his mouth off, especially considering some of those picks were pretty specific. Probably not gonna get me on ESPN Sportscenter, though.


In other news, I’ve begun using the site-traffic tracking system recommended by Leo. Now I can be like the other cool kids and share web stats and the funny searches I pop up on. So far, it’s been pretty boring. I’ll keep you posted.

And, if you know Amy Choppa and/or you want a CD, check out the quiz from yesterday (below).