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Thursday, October 30, 2003
 
Time to Fess Up
In the interest of full disclosure and holding up my end of the honesty bargain, The Internet, I feel there are a few things I need to tell you. This won’t be easy. But here it goes:

-- In defiance of the Gods of Hallow’s Eve, I will try and be away from the house tomorrow night so that I don’t have to hand out candy to the non-dressed up ghetto kids who come to our door. Also, I likely won’t dress up when I go out to the Girls’ show, which they will be dressed up for.

-- When I was in elementary school, digging on the clay mound at the Learn-n-Play after-school care, I knew right away that I had stabbed myself in the eye with the stick and that it had not been (as I told the Learn-n-Play administrator, my mom, and the doctor) my friend who was digging next to me.

-- I’ve never surfed. I say this, The Internet, because, in high school, I was often challenged while dressed in surfer-wear. I name-dropped specific beaches where I’d been surfing when, in reality, I once tried to stand up on a surfboard in the chop at Cape San Blas . . . which, until my teen years, I called “Cape Sand Blast.”

-- I use a mouse pad with my optical mouse. To make matters worse, I sit too close to my monitor . . . much closer than the recommended arm’s length.

-- We have (and drive) one of these. I know, I know . . . I lose lots of liberal cred for this indiscretion. I should be wearing red ties and reading Ann Coulter books. Really, The Internet, I’m sorry. We’re sorry.