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Monday, October 20, 2003
Road Trippin' (And Knowing the Difference Between Yards and Inches)
In the interest of minimizing reader irritation, or at least reducing any potential shred of disappointment, I should stop promising things. Like pictures. But I did take good notes over the weekend, so I have this:

Kamikazes in Atlanta

6:15 p.m.: Finally leave the house. Michelle had actually been off work for a while. I didn’t leave until late, and then I had to gas up the car and run by the credit union. On the way out of town, we stop for the traditional road-trip kick-off meal at the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru.

7:30 p.m.: (near Pelham, Georgia) Michelle gets in back seat with Miss Mia, who’d been crying intermittently and was fighting sleep.

8:45 p.m.: Miss Mia is finally asleep. We remark that she’s the prettiest baby ever (which she is, fucktard).

9:35 p.m.: Yours truly, eyes heavy, turns the driving over to Michelle. (In his old age, the once-solid Scott is getting fairly useless on these road trips.)

10:03 p.m.: *silence* “Next year will be 10 years since college and 15 years since high school.” *Sympathetic nods, followed by more silence*

11:20 p.m.: Arrive at Michelle’s sister’s (Miss JAB’s) place. Unloaded car, assembled Pack-n-Play, said our “hellos,” put baby (back) to bed . . . not necessarily in that order.

11:45 p.m.: Bed

6:55 a.m.: Mia’s awake, for some inexplicable reason. You’d think a sleep-deprived baby would sleep longer.

9:15 a.m.: Thrift-shopping.

11:40 a.m. (driving to find lunch and listening to Kinski’s “Semaphore”): Scott: “Yeah, the ending speeds up and doesn’t quite fit, but this song still rocks my fuckin’ balls off.” Michelle: “That’s your daddy, Mia.”

11:50 a.m.: Mythos for lunch . . . Greek food worth the (very) long wait

2:00 p.m.: Michelle and Miss JAB left for Little Five Points while I stayed with Miss Mia, who would not go down for a nap. (We didn’t bring our stroller on the trip for some inexplicable reason.)

3:40 p.m.: Mr. ADD calls from Tallahassee. He lets me know the bad news . . . that the Legion of Doom has set up a fortress in the woods near his house. “But the Super Friends should be able to take care of it,” he says, reassuringly. I have to admit, I’m relieved.

4:10 p.m.: Michelle and Miss JAB come back to the apartment.

4:20 p.m.: The moment when Joe Theismann is on T.V. during halftime of the Notre Dame / USC game. When I realize that one of my most hated sports figures went to school at one of my most hated schools. When I wish Lawrence Taylor would appear, tackle Mr. Theismann, and break his leg . . . again.

4:30 p.m.: More family-themed thrift shopping.

6:58 p.m. (during a commercial break in the Florida / Arkansas game): Michelle: “Okay, he’s not singing that.” Miss JAB: “Whoever’s singing it needs to stop.” Scott: “It’s the Steve Miller Band. Get with the program.” Miss JAB: “Not if that’s the program.”

7:45 p.m.: Miss JAB tags along to Johnny’s Pizza to watch the FSU / Virginia game on ESPN. (Miss JAB doesn’t have cable.) The Greek food was weighing heavy on us, as she couldn’t eat anything and I could only eat half of a 12-inch pizza (green peppers and feta). But we did split a pitcher of Amberbock, and chased that with another pint each.

10:24 p.m. (during the FSU / Virginia game) On T.V., a Virginia fan holds up a sign that reads: “Silly Seminoles, Rix is for kids.” Funny, funny stuff.

We ended up leaving before the end of the game. Miss JAB could get Fox, so we watched the end of Game One of the World Series.

7:35 a.m.: It Came From the Crib

9:45 a.m.: Golden Corral for some food-trough breakfast

10:25 a.m.: Wal-Mart for some last-minute grocery items and food for Miss JAB’s cat, Maddie.

12:20 p.m.: Leave Atlanta. Because Michelle starts out driving, we’re sure to make better time; she tries to maintain 85 mph whenever possible, while I usually try to stay around 8 to 10 mph over the limit (i.e., much slower).

3:30 p.m.: We stop for so I can get some Krystal’s. (I will regret this in approximately 12 hours. Seriously.)

5:00 p.m.: Home at last.

That’s the trip in broad strokes. I left out some of the minutia, like listening to the new Death Cab CD, trying to write some poetry, trying to get Mia to walk around the apartment, how Mia tried to sneak out a “thank you” to her aunt after breakfast yesterday, how cool it is that Michelle bought several yards of fabric and was charged for several inches (the total was $0.48 for almost 10 yards of fabric), or the fact that I saw more evidence of multiculturalism in Atlanta this weekend than I have in all my time in New York City.