web tracker


Friday, October 17, 2003
 
Liberated
Well, the Yankees have freed me from caring about baseball for the calendar year 2003. Really, it was a great game last night. Fun while it lasted.

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I like the latest trend of violent commentary/threats involving “shivs” I’m reading on everyone’s sites. That’s such a great word. Shiv. Seriously, I can’t get enough of the shiv-talk.

On a side note, I knew someone in high school named Shiv.

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Okay, folks, here it is . . . the formula (let’s call it the Kamikaze Theorem) that will calculate/predict how many comments you will receive on a given post:

C = [T x (2Q + F/2 + L/10)] - Y

where:

C = the number of comments you will receive

T = the relative trauma/interest level of the post (scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being fairly traumatic and/or interesting . . . or if you’re giving CDs away, and 1 being a post about your baseball career)

Q = the average quality of your posts in general (scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being Julia and 1 being, um . . .)

F = the number of sites you frequently comment on

L = the number of sites (links) on your blogroll

Y = the number of people you’ve made mad somehow (e.g., harassing them about the Yankees, failing to keep promises, threatening with geometry, using dangling participles)

Let me know if the Kamikaze Theorem applies to your site. We may need to revise it, or invoke the Crabby Hypothesis. Or the Law of Choppa. Or the Styro Postulate. Or the Fez Principle.

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That’s about all I have. We’re going to Atlanta this weekend. Probably won’t see this guy on this trip. (If you got home from a trip to the big—or bigger—city, would I be the first person you’d want to see? Yeah, I didn’t think so. But thanks, honey.)

Maybe I’ll keep a handy-dandy travelogue for your amusement. And take pictures (which may or may not ever be posted).