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Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is
This is for all you marketing types out there. The Madison Avenue crowd.

With football season almost upon us, it’s time to make your commercials better and funnier. Because I like to be entertained when there’s a timeout, or after a team scores a touchdown.

And why should you listen to me? Because I will not buy your product(s) if your commercial(s) suck(s). I will also see to it that my followers avoid your product(s) as well.

Think I’m kidding? Okay, big shot. Solely based on the commercials, I will never by a Mazda. Those “Can you hear me now?” commercials? Yeah, I won’t be signing up for that shit, or whatever cell phone company Teri Hatcher is involved with. My wife and I need to pay off our Pier One account so I can avoid their store after they hired Kirstie Alley as a pitchperson.

We want funny commercials, like the "office linebacker." (That almost makes me want to buy some Reeboks.) Funny commercials make me consider buying shitty beer (but not even shittier beer). This extends to print ads, too. I think the Volkswagen ads are hilarious, so I’d consider buying one (again).


On a side note (probably not something I should admit) but, in response to an article on the homosexual influence on/takeover of Madison Avenue (yeah, it was a conservative piece), some friends and I started playing a game during commercial breaks of televised sporting events: Find the homosexual subtext. Yeah, sometimes it’s pretty blatant. But other times, you have to dig. Like the Docker’s commercial where the truck drives off a road, flies through the air in a corkscrew spin, and lands at a pool-side party.

Something to think about (or initiate with your drunk friends) the next time you’re stuck in front of the T.V.