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Thursday, August 28, 2003
Kamikaze the Greek
Here at Kamikaze Lunchbreak, we like to put it all out there, throw caution to the wind, lay it on the line. Okay, that’s bullshit. I’m a pretty careful guy, but I do like to shoot my mouth off in a not-fully-informed way.

So, in honor of college football season and my once-great alma mater (that’d be Florida State University, ‘holes . . . which rhymes with ‘noles), I have my ill-advised season predictions. I'm sure you'll all comb my archives at the end of the season to see how I did. I'll save you the trouble if I (choose to) remember that I did this.

First are five predictions for FSU, and then five for college football in general.

Florida State:

-- FSU will lose at least two games this season, but no more than four.

-- Most/all of FSU's losses will be indirectly (and accurately) blamed on Jeff Bowden.

-- FSU will beat either Miami or Notre Dame, but not both.

-- FSU will not win the ACC and, thus, will not go to a New Year's Day bowl.

-- FSU will finish the season ranked just inside the Top 20 (maybe in the 17-to-19 range).

In general:

-- Neither Miami nor Ohio State will be in the National Championship game.

-- Oklahoma and/or Notre Dame will be in there (the latter most likely due to some stupid BCS loophole).

-- Notre Dame will only lose one game this season; if they lose to FSU, it’ll be two games. (And I will continue to hate them, although I will respect them. Unless they play for the National Championship, and then I’ll just hate them.)

-- Kansas State players will be at home on New Year's Day, fucking their large, corn-fed girlfriends.

-- People will continue to whine that there isn’t a playoff system.

My apologies to those non-football fans and those who are large and/or corn-fed. (Queenie, I'm not baiting the fat people. And SSC, see how I incorporated the 'holes?)